A life changing turning point in my life came the year I turned 32 years old. There were actually two "decisions." First, Bob and I were sitting on a bench outside of the University of Chicago to get another opinion about why I continued to be so sick. After numerous surgeries, my body was still not getting better. The Chicago doctor told me what I didn't want to hear but I already knew - I had to get a permanent illeostomy. It was my only option to feeling better and getting my life back. Looking back, it was such a simple decision, so obvious. But, I felt defeated and terrified at the time. We returned to Michigan and my wonderful surgeon, Dr. J, made plans to have the surgery in the spring. That same year, Bob and I made a decision to leave Michigan and return to the South, in Atlanta, GA. Bob had a wonderful job offer with Gray & Company and was in the midst of finishing his MBA at Michigan that fall. I was thrilled to live closer to both sides of our family, especially needing to be closer to my mom. We moved in October 2006. My surgery came with some complications, so I ended up having two more the following winter and spring, one in Michigan and one in Atlanta. My body finally started to heal and the Crohn's Disease became quiet. I just pray and hope it stays that way.
There are always thoughts and topics floating in my head that I want to write about, but this week, my thoughts were halted and consumed by a tragic loss. On Monday, September 1, our dear friend Matt Cook collapsed during the running portion of the Cypress Triathlon in Houston, TX. He was raising money for cancer research through Team in Training. I received a group email from his wife, Stephanie, in the middle of the night on Tuesday morning telling us that Matt was in critical condition and needed as many prayers as possible. I read that and said prayers, but of course I assumed he would be fine. Dehydration and kidney problems? The doctors could fix those issues. No problem. Tuesday afternoon I was on Facebook and noticed some posts on Matt's page that he had passed away. I dropped my laundry on the floor and just stood in shock. How could this be? What? I called Bob immediately and told him the news. I could not stop crying.
Matt is one of the best guys I have ever known. He had the best smile and one of the sweetest hearts. Despite him being one of the biggest Ohio State fans I have ever known (their two dogs are named Woody and Buckeye), we loved everything about him. We met Matt and Stephanie when they moved in next door to us in Ypsilanti, MI. They were later relocated to Atlanta, which we were thrilled about when we moved there a year or so later. They accepted us as friends, although we wore our Michigan colors to their going away party when they made their next move to Houston, TX. We have kept up over the years, especially when we celebrated the birth of their kids, Macy (4) and Grant (2). They shared Macy's clothes with us when we adopted Megan. Some friends are just always there near or far and Matt and Stephanie are those friends. We just love them.
It's hard when we get a harsh reminder like this that life is too fragile. How could Matt Cook not be on this Earth? I thought of him all day on Saturday, thinking he should be at home with his family watching college football. Ohio State lost because they didn't have their biggest fan. I look at all of the procedures, surgeries, and hospitalizations I have had for a variety of reasons over the years, and I have survived them all. I have to go to the ER or stay overnight in the hospital for dehydration about every year or so. I do not know any details about Matt's case, but I just can't seem to understand how this can happen so quickly. My head knows why, but my heart can't seem to make peace with it. I can't stop thinking about Stephanie and their children. I just can't imagine. Too fragile . . .
On Thursday, September 4, I learned of the passing of another friend, my Dr. J (Dr. Jason Bodzin). I have written in the past that he was battling ALS. He lost his courageous battle the day before. My heart is with his wife and family. I talked to him in March and he sent me a donation for my fundraising for the Les Turner ALS Foundation and the Chicago Marathon. Although he has not been my doctor since 2007, we have kept in touch over the years. He was one of those special doctors that went above and beyond to ensure his patients were getting the best possible care. He used to come down to radiology when I was getting a scan or test and wait with the technicians to see the results. He didn't want to wait for it to be read. He always treated me like a daughter and made me feel like things would be eventually be ok. Thank you Dr. J. - things are ok. I am so grateful to his family for sharing him with so many people as he always gave more time than was asked of him. Too fragile . . .
My heart and prayers are with a family friend who is 32 years old and battling throat cancer in Arizona. Too fragile . . .
My heart and prayers are with my college roommate and her older sister Laura or "Lala" who has still not woken up from heart surgery on September 4, and has three kids and a loving husband waiting for her to show signs of improvement. Too fragile . . .
I am a protective person and just want to make everything ok. The thing about life feeling too fragile, then strength and support comes along. If you are suffering a loss, you have to surround yourself with strength and support, even when you don't have any. The same is true for facing a challenge, health or otherwise. Get mad. Get bold. Let your loved ones be strong for you when you are searching for your own strength.
I probably have not seen Matt and Stephanie for at least a year. They came into town and we had lunch. It was so good to see them both and we always talk about wanting to get together more. A month ago, I received a family update from Stephanie that discussed Matt's upcoming races and shared a picture of their new home they built and moved into on August 1. It just breaks my heart. One of the things I loved about Matt's obituary was the fact they shared all the races he had completed, including his first marathon. I thought of him a lot as I ran 18 miles this past weekend and I carried his strength with me. Rest in peace my friend and always know how much you are loved and celebrated. Now, I just have to find a time soon when I can hug my dear friend Stephanie. Life is too fragile, so I will do my best to fill my time with love, hugs, laughter, and hope.
It's hard when we get a harsh reminder like this that life is too fragile. How could Matt Cook not be on this Earth? I thought of him all day on Saturday, thinking he should be at home with his family watching college football. Ohio State lost because they didn't have their biggest fan. I look at all of the procedures, surgeries, and hospitalizations I have had for a variety of reasons over the years, and I have survived them all. I have to go to the ER or stay overnight in the hospital for dehydration about every year or so. I do not know any details about Matt's case, but I just can't seem to understand how this can happen so quickly. My head knows why, but my heart can't seem to make peace with it. I can't stop thinking about Stephanie and their children. I just can't imagine. Too fragile . . .
On Thursday, September 4, I learned of the passing of another friend, my Dr. J (Dr. Jason Bodzin). I have written in the past that he was battling ALS. He lost his courageous battle the day before. My heart is with his wife and family. I talked to him in March and he sent me a donation for my fundraising for the Les Turner ALS Foundation and the Chicago Marathon. Although he has not been my doctor since 2007, we have kept in touch over the years. He was one of those special doctors that went above and beyond to ensure his patients were getting the best possible care. He used to come down to radiology when I was getting a scan or test and wait with the technicians to see the results. He didn't want to wait for it to be read. He always treated me like a daughter and made me feel like things would be eventually be ok. Thank you Dr. J. - things are ok. I am so grateful to his family for sharing him with so many people as he always gave more time than was asked of him. Too fragile . . .
My heart and prayers are with a family friend who is 32 years old and battling throat cancer in Arizona. Too fragile . . .
My heart and prayers are with my college roommate and her older sister Laura or "Lala" who has still not woken up from heart surgery on September 4, and has three kids and a loving husband waiting for her to show signs of improvement. Too fragile . . .
I am a protective person and just want to make everything ok. The thing about life feeling too fragile, then strength and support comes along. If you are suffering a loss, you have to surround yourself with strength and support, even when you don't have any. The same is true for facing a challenge, health or otherwise. Get mad. Get bold. Let your loved ones be strong for you when you are searching for your own strength.
I probably have not seen Matt and Stephanie for at least a year. They came into town and we had lunch. It was so good to see them both and we always talk about wanting to get together more. A month ago, I received a family update from Stephanie that discussed Matt's upcoming races and shared a picture of their new home they built and moved into on August 1. It just breaks my heart. One of the things I loved about Matt's obituary was the fact they shared all the races he had completed, including his first marathon. I thought of him a lot as I ran 18 miles this past weekend and I carried his strength with me. Rest in peace my friend and always know how much you are loved and celebrated. Now, I just have to find a time soon when I can hug my dear friend Stephanie. Life is too fragile, so I will do my best to fill my time with love, hugs, laughter, and hope.
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