Thought 37: Ripping out the plug . . .

Staying home with Megan has been such a special experience. I cherish the time we have had together and the opportunity to be a part of all her milestones. The year I turned 37 years old was full of  play dates with new friends, stroller walks to Starbucks with my super mommies, music class, trips to the Zoo, quiet time playing on the floor, airplane trips to see family and friends, beach time, library story times, reading books, and lots of snuggling. It has not always been easy of course, but whatever rough moments I had were overshadowed by the joy. I don't just love being a mom, I love being Megan's "mommy" or "mama."

I swore I would never get a smart phone. No touch screens for me. I just wanted a regular cell phone and was not interested in all the extras. I always thought it was too much and unnecessary. Time passes and now I can't seem to live without it. Really? I remember when I kept a cell phone in my glove compartment in case of an emergency when driving to and from college. Now my phone is something I might as well attach to my body. Why do we get sucked into all this technology? Is it really necessary?

I think I am past the point of no return now, but it is up to me to decide how much I will allow it to be part of my day. Confession time - I look at my phone a lot during the day no matter where I am, even in my car. I don't text and drive, but I have been known to check my email or look at Facebook. Ugh! I'm so embarrassed that I have let these things creep into my every day. I look at my phone in front of my daughter and text in front of her. She likes to play on my phone and iPad more than I want to admit (although I think I am pretty good about limiting her time). I don't want to be that person - the one that is missing out on what is in front of her because I am plugged in somewhere else. Is there really a reason to check our email, Facebook, Twitter, or whatever else more than once a day? The answer is no.

I like being there for family and friends and doing what I can to be supportive of their lives no matter what is happening. I feel like if I get a text or email I have to answer it right away or the other person will wonder why I haven't responded. Truthfully, some texts are that way and need an immediate response. But I need to realize that it is more important to be present where I am and less important to stay connected to my phone in case someone shares some information I want to respond to or show them that I "like" it. It really comes down to family time and me knowing and wanting to be connected and present with my Megan and Bob. Everything else will just have to wait.

So, I am making the commitment now to rip out the plug and put my phone away. I will always answer the phone and respond to texts at my first chance. Email, Facebook, and other apps will have to wait. I will allow myself to check my phone when I get up and before I head up to bed. I will no longer be immersed into my phone around Megan and I will no longer check my phone once I get in bed at night. At some point you have to disconnect and shut down for the evening. I am ripping out the plug and it feels good! It's sad that I have to do it in the first place. So, if you need to reach me right away, let's go old school . . . Call me!

The bigger question for me is why do I have such a hard time being present in my life. I have always struggled with yoga because I have a hard time focusing on the moment and not allowing my mind to wander. I am a worrier and heavy thinker and I'm always thinking about what needs to be done or if there is something I should be doing. I hate to think of time I may have lost with Megan because I allowed either a phone or unnecessary task get in the way of quality time. I just have to slow down. I want to focus on my life from the inside out. Be present at home. Embrace my time with Megan and Bob. Cherish my times with friends and family. Get outside whenever possible. Finally, put down the phone unless I am turning on the "princess songs" station on Pandora. Sounds like a good plan, right?   I am committed to being more present and I know my family and I will be happier for it. Who's with me?