My first job out of college was at the Florida Children's Forum in Tallahassee, a statewide child care resource and referral agency. I had worked there a year when I turned 24 years old. I held several positions in my time with the organization and learned a lot about event planning and program management. I enjoyed the people I worked with the most and the work they entrusted in me as I was getting my feet wet in my first real professional position. I have to say my time as a 24-year-old adult in 1998 was a difficult one. I was learning more about my gastrointestinal issues and not understanding why no one could make me feel better. It wasn't until 2000 that I was diagnosed with Crohn's Disease, so I was incredibly frustrated with my symptoms. I was on and off weeks of prednisone because there was nothing else that made me feel better. Bob and I struggled with understanding this time and just wanted to enjoy our newlywed days. We made the best of it as always as we leaned on each other and both sides of our wonderful family for support.
There are certain qualities in a father
that mean the most to me. First, I think a father should provide unconditional
love. A father should encourage their child to be a critical and independent
thinker. A father should inspire their child to be a dreamer and follow those
dreams, no matter where in the world those dreams will take them. A father
should teach their children how to respect others, as well as respect
themselves. A father should be fun and patient and always embrace the silliness
in his children. A father should demonstrate how important it is to follow the
rules and be responsible for one’s actions. However, he should also teach his children
to think for themselves and use good judgment, even if it means breaking a rule
every now and then. Finally, a father should teach his children the importance
of giving back and respecting other people, no matter their background or
differences. There are so many qualities that make a good father, and everyone
would have a different list. These are the qualities that have had the most
impact on me and I am blessed that my dad embodies all of them.
I have been so fortunate to have so many great men in my
life – my father, my two older brothers, my husband, my father-in-law, my
uncles, my brother-in-laws, and of course my grandfathers. I wish them all a
very Happy Father’s Day! There is no denying who is my father. I look just like
him. He loves the story of my co-worker that once said, “wow, you look just
like your dad. It’s creeping me out.” It is a striking resemblance, but in the
end, I hope that it is some of my other qualities that have the strongest
connection to him – my competitiveness, ambition, generosity, humor, tender
heart, instinct, courage, and stubbornness not to give up. My dad and I have both been affected by
Crohn’s Disease in our lives, and if it weren’t for him, if it weren’t for
these qualities, I would never be here today.
My mom always told me that my dad was
surprised when I came along because he had never thought about having a girl. He had faith in me from the beginning and
knew that I could do anything I wanted to do in this world. I grew up in
Titusville, Florida with a pool in my backyard. My dad had me in the water (no
flotation device) at 8 months old. Before long, he was pushing me to the bottom
of the pool to pick up pennies. We were buddies from the beginning. We had at
least 10 games we would play in the pool that he made up. He would come home
from work and put me in his Scout Jeep and take me down to the convenience
store or ice cream shop for a treat. After he and my mom saw the matinee stage
production of “The Wiz” in Orlando, he came home, put me in the car, and we
drove all the way back for the evening show. He took me to his office on the
weekends and I would pretend to be his secretary downstairs. He taught me how
to keep score at major league baseball games.
He taught me how to write. He
inspired me to want to see the world. He shared his love of Broadway and took
me to New York City on a regular basis (we hope to go again soon). He shared
his love of reading and history and has inspired me to want to learn more.
Although I fought it for so many years, he actually does have a good taste in
music, which I am sure has had an influence on my love for country, bluegrass,
and jazz.
The funny thing is, I continue to learn
from him with every year and am most grateful for what he gives my daughter as
her “Gran.” He is in love with being a grandfather and seeing his four nieces
and one grandson every chance he can get. He loves his family with all his
heart and has always made me feel like my brothers and I were his first
priority. He travelled a lot when we were growing up and still works and
travels at the age of 74 years old. But I never felt his absence because he was
always so present when he was home. My dad is not perfect. No one I know is
perfect, most certainly not me. But I think my dad would be one of the first to
admit that and has always been pretty hard on himself. I know I get my
stubbornness from him. He has already arranged to have a copy of his car keys
given to a friend, so when we take his keys away one day, he can still get away
in his car and head out west.
My dad and I have a very special and unique relationship and friendship. It has grown and changed over the years, but I still
look to him for guidance and wisdom. We truly enjoy each other’s company. One
of the things I am most excited about is that the qualities I treasure most in
my dad, I also see in my husband. I find great comfort in knowing that Megan
will grow up and go through life with a dad that embodies all the qualities a
dad should process. One of the greatest things that both my dad and husband share
is their love of being a dad. My husband will always be there for Megan in all the
ways she will need him. He provides her unconditional love and support and
encourages her to try her best and be respectful of others. He is the stable
force in her life and I have fallen in love with watching their relationship
develop in her first three years. Between their yogurt dates and Frozen sing-a-longs and their Dr.
Seuss adventures and Sat mornings while I am running,
my husband never misses an opportunity to have his special time with his girl. He is
always there, which is really what it is all about.
So, when does a father become a “dad” or
“daddy?” I am sure there are as many opinions about this as there are answers,
but I think it is about the bond between a dad and his child and the connection
between two hearts. A dad longs to be with his kids and be there for his kids.
He feels responsible for them and ensuring their safety and well-being. He
embodies the qualities or similar ones that I mentioned above. My husband and I are
very much a team and share the responsibility in raising a strong and confident
daughter. My parents did the same. I am very aware of how lucky I am to have
these relationships and sources of support. The relationship with my dad goes
to the core of who I am and I could not be more grateful that God sent me someone
that can give that same connection and love to our daughter. No coincidence they are both named Bob.
Happy Father’s Day to the two men that give
my life such joy, to all the dad’s in my life, and all the dad’s everywhere!
Here’s to you!
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