Thought 21: Happy Thoughts . . .

One of my greatest academic challenges came when I was 21 years old and a junior in college. Furman is well known for their undergraduate research program and I was lucky to be a part of it. I will never forget the name of my study, "The Effects of Age on the Recognition of Performed Activities." I am proud I can recall that without any hesitation. I spent the summer of 1996 working on this psychological study as well as the whole next year and into my senior year. I had to recruit 60 students and 60 older adults over the age of 65 to participate in the study. It took an hour and a half each time and I could only test 3 people at once. I had to choose a committee of three Psychology professors to propose the project to as well as defend my findings in a formal presentation the winter of my senior year. It took me a year and a half to finish the research, write the paper, and defend the findings. I'll never forget the feeling of relief when I walked out of that presentation - probably my proudest moment in my education journey. 

I may finally be coming out of my fog. Over the past two months or so, especially the past three weeks, I have not felt like myself. Since my half marathon in March, I have felt burnt out on my running and overall pretty lethargic. I was worried it was something more going on physically, but I now know sometimes you are just tired because you are just tired. I have put a lot of pressure on myself with this running journey and my body just needed a break. After fighting the fatigue for about a month, I decided to give in and dial things back for a few weeks. I do pretty well when I just listen to what my body is telling me. I turned down the mileage on my running, checked in with my physical therapist, and tried to ease the pressure off a bit.

Things were feeling better until I came down with a stomach virus that knocked me down for a week and a half and sent me to the emergency room twice for fluids from dehydration. With having an illeostomy, dehydration comes on so quickly and there is no amount of Gatorade that can make it better. Doctors always run extra tests on me when they hear my medical history, especially doctors that have never met me or don't know me very well. After hearing things like "your Crohn's Disease could be flaring up" (which would be the first time in 7 years) or "you might have a partial intestinal blockage," I think everyone involved is pretty sure it was a stomach virus. But thank you to the medical community for the good scare.  I do appreciate them all being very careful and thorough.

It is times like this that I call on my bank of happy thoughts. Everyone needs a happy thought. Whether it is a place, a time, a person, an object, everyone needs a thought that can center them and provide a sense of calmness. When I am in the middle of a difficult moment, I close my eyes and try to channel one of these thoughts.  I think we all need them for a variety of reasons.

Here are a few of mine . . .

A memory . . . This picture is from one of my favorite days with my family. This is actually one of the few pictures we have of just the five of us. My mom was awarded the "Champion for Children Award" for all her work in early childhood education in Florida.  My dad encouraged us all to come home and surprise her for the awards dinner. My two brothers and I came from three different cities and arrived together at my dad's office. My mom was holding a board meeting there for her day care center. We all walked into the meeting together and surprised her. She just stood up, immediately started crying and said "These are my children." Now that was a good day. My mom will always be one of the happy thoughts that brings me the most comfort, especially when I hear one of our favorite songs. We could really rock it out dancing to music. 

A place . . . Bob and I went to Hawaii for our fifth anniversary and have always longed to go back. Any tropical location will really do, but this was the view from our wonderful little hotel in Maui and I often close my eyes and feel better just picturing it and imagining the sounds of the ocean.  I grew up 15 minutes from the beach and have always found it to be a place of peace for me. My parents used to bury me in the sand as a child, with my bald head sticking out, and I would just fall asleep.

A person . . . I am blessed to have so many people in my life that bring a sense of calmness and peace to my soul. For so long, the love and moments I have shared with my brother's kids have been my happy thoughts. I have always cherished the relationships I have with each of them and the laughter and special moments we have had together throughout their childhoods. For example, my nieces Ally and Morgan have laughs that are like no other. When I need a happy thought, I will just close my eyes and channel the sounds of their giggles. Instant smile! Sometimes when I am struggling with my running or tackling a big hill, I picture my family and friends running beside me or cheering me on at the top of the hill. Thank you Leslie for all the high fives! 

The moment . . . This past week, Bob and I were excited to celebrate three years since we finalized Megan's adoption in a Utah courtroom, almost 6 months to the day after she was born. Although I felt like she was ours from the moment she came into this world and into our arms, that special day in May will always be a day our family celebrates. A happy thought indeed! I remember sitting outside of the courtroom giving her a bottle, just hoping she would last through the proceedings. After all of the formalities had been completed, the judge turned to us and asked us how we felt about Megan. I immediately started crying as I was so full of emotion and doing my best to find just the right words. Megan and Bob are my greatest sources of happiness and bring me the peace and comfort I need during all the highs, lows, and everything in between. 

The happy thoughts for me continue on and on with moments like taking Megan to Disney World for the first time or seeing Bob, Megan, and my dad cheering me to the finish line of the Publix Half Marathon in March. My mother-in-law's cooking has to be mentioned as just the thought of it has brought me great comfort over the years, although having it is much better! Life is so hard, but the more we live, the more opportunities we have to create new happy thoughts and grow our reserves for when we need them the most. 

So, now that the fog has cleared, I am ready to officially start my marathon training. Thank you to my dear friends for being there while I was sick and helping with Megan. Sometimes, in fact, mommies do get sick. Summer is here and the heat has arrived. I am spending a few days in Florida this weekend and will be running six miles as my first official long run. Since I don't have my trusty, favorite trail nearby, I will be trekking out from my dad's house to our favorite local breakfast place. It is about six miles in between, and what a happy thought for me knowing that I will have the #3 special of french toast, bacon, and grits waiting for me when I finish! 

Check out my personal fundraising page for the Les Turner ALS Foundation -  http://ow.ly/ukTos.